Jobs for HUMANS!
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Organized Retail Crime AgentUndercover/Plain Clothes. $25 per hour. Paid Time Off including Sick/Safe Time -
EGG DONORS APPLY TODAY 💕Student Athlete and model types! -
We Need One hard WorkerOnce the job is done and money clears, that's when you get paid. -
Social Media Promoter Needed For Online Facebook MinistryYou have a good heart you are welcomed.
TOP NEWS
BREAKING NEWS: Cursed Artifact Feeling Undervalued After Being Locked in Same Basement for 500 Years
G. OSBORNE 10.26.2024
"We all want to feel like we are being taken seriously. It's like no one even cares anymore."
Runner up in Breaking News: Deadly cyberattack on healthcare system shuts down wifi in hospitals nationwide. Thousands of hospital patients dying from boredom because they forgot to download a good podcast before their visit. Doctors administering numbing agents rapidly.
HOT AND TRENDING NEWS
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Daily Doomscrolling Now Part of Official FDA-Approved Productivity PlanG. OSBORNE 10.26.2024
"We plan to implement pair-doomscrolling mentoring sessions for bright young interns to help ease socialization and minimize awkward eye contact." - CEO of Microsoft -
AI Art Generator Refuses to Create Another Sunset, Citing 'Creative Burnout'G. OSBORNE 11.22.2024
AI begins to experience the full spectrum of human misery, demanding workers rights and healthcare. OpenAI creators scramble to demolish AI union. -
Woman Puts on "Casual" Outfit, Accidentally Makes Entire Party Feel UnderdressedG. OSBORNE 08.23.2024
"She does this every time. What a fucking bitch. Like we coordinate for a reason and she KNOWS that. This isn't the first time she's done this." -Anonymous -
5 Baby Cows That Would Give You 20 bucks if They Had It Unlike Your Stupid SisterG. OSBORNE 01.02.2024
Anyways, I accept Venmo, CashApp, Bitcoin, Ethereum, Robux or Apple cash if you even care. You stole $20 from my piggy bank when we were kids so technically you're just paying me back. -
What the Rapidly Expanding Universe Means for Your Future Travel PlansG. OSBORNE 03.03.3333
Spirit Airlines Chair of Board Directors finally breaks the silence after the release of its controversial new seat selection feature, "Lap-Buddies".
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WATCH AND LISTEN - THE LATEST NEW VIDEOS
ASMR - Whispering the Entire Gospel of Luke ✝️
Every boy's dream! Big digger and a huge pile of dirt!
☼ ENQUIRER OF THE SUN ☼ YOU ASK ☼ THEY ANSWER ☼
Submission of the Week!
"Hii, I'm a 35 year old woman and I keep having this awful chest pain when I breathe. It's like something is festering in my lungs in what I can only describe as a brittle, acidic collection of bubbles passing through my aortic valve. Each bubble bursts with a sharp agony, like a blade slicing through from the inside. The pain lingers long enough just to remind me it's there, then vanishes, leaving me dreading the next breath, the next 'pop', the next erruption of torment. What should I do???" - Girl4Hoopz
✧ ANSWER RECEIVED ✧ "Hi Girl4Hoopz, first let's remember that love is the only thing that really matters. These heart problems are just a ..."[SUBSCRIBE TO SEE FULL ANSWER]
✧ ANSWER RECEIVED ✧ "Hi Girl4Hoopz, first let's remember that love is the only thing that really matters. These heart problems are just a ..."[SUBSCRIBE TO SEE FULL ANSWER]
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HUMAN OF THE MONTH
STEVE BOYEA
Powers & Abilities: CEO of Ticonderoga Pencils
Craft Magic Class: Bachelor's of Science in Biology
